'24 Final Week Preview

[Dan Farnell]

One week remains in the 2124 season, and yet much remains unsettled. The playoff picture is in that red room where pictures go to get developed (hey what's up with those rooms scientifically anyway), and the people who run the photography place say we'll get to see the prints in one week. Here are the major questions awaiting their answers.

Is Northwest gonna make it?

The Emeralds currently lay claim to the 4th seed, but there are three teams within striking distance. Sao Paulo and LA trail them by 3 games and Rio by 4. The Emeralds host the cellar-dwelling Carolina Flight during the week, then travel to Mexico City to finish out the schedule.

Northwest is not just chasing a playoff appearance. They are also chasing history. At 13 wins below their pythagorean projection, the Ems are just one bad luck game behind the (we think) all-time record of -14, set by the Dolphins a few years ago (not looking it up).

Asked to assess his team's position GM Andy said that the team was busy conducting experiments about pythagorean stuff and could not comment.

Sao Paulo Toucans GM Casey Blake Dewitt said, "I guess we're not all the way dead."

Are the Dolphins hitting the skids?

Coming into last week, the Dolphins led the race for the number 1 seed by 4 games. Now, amidst what I can only describe as Turmoil, their lead has shrunk to 2 games over Mexico City and 3 games over Santo Domingo.

GM Jake declined comment, but recently retired Santo Domingo Palmchats legend Cheslav Zamorov said, "I really think the Palmchats have what it takes to win the pennant this year. From what I saw in the São Paulo organization, the other clubs just don't have the right mindset. No offense to those guys, but they just don't have what it takes. I think the biggest threat is probably Northwest. I mean that franchise has a history of playoff success and that's hard to overcome. Oh wait, sorry, I meant Buenos Aires."

IBL playoff picture set, is Mumbai v. Black Forest inevitable?

Barring catastrophe, the IBL playoff seeding will be as follows:

1. Black Forest
2. Mumbai
3. Cairo
4. Rome

High powered clubs Black Forest and Mumbai are favorites to win their first round matchups. Mumbai GM apmp said they would not be overlooking their first round opponent, but that his team is confident. "We will stay sharp, get rested, and hope to hit the postseason firing on all cylinders," said the GM.

Rome will be taking on the Black Forest Foxes, their GM had harsh words for Rome’s players, saying, “These [female genitalia] [butt] players better get their heads out of their [butts] and start playing like they have a pair of [male genitalia] hanging between their legs. I'm tired of them [defecating in] the bed in August and September."

Dan Farnell

Dan Farnell provides national coverage for the WBA Times. He recently completed watching the Gilmore Girls for a second time and is consistently ranked among the top Gilmore Girls fan-fiction authors on the planet. He's bad with deadlines and very sorry.