TOKYO, Japan: The current mood in the Melbourne clubhouse can only be described as despondent. Following a 3-2 loss to the Tokyo Samurai (who were supposed to be the worst team in the IBL), I spoke to Meteors GM Bob Weinberg about what was going wrong.
DK: Bob, thanks for talking to me.
BW: right. sure. whatever.
DK: So, elephant in the room. The Meteors are 1-11 and have lost series to Paris and Tokyo. What's going on?
BW: I dunno.
DK: I'll give some suggestions. Is it the pitching, the hitting, the morale?
BW: Oh, no, morale is great! Who wouldn't be thrilled with a 1-11 start?
DK: I'm serious.
BW: Fine. Pitching isn't our biggest problem. Pedro is Pedro but the starters are all doing perfectly fine.
DK: On that topic, closer Pedro Vargas has pitched 5 innings and has an ERA of 12.60. Is that a problem?
BW: Is that a problem?? Yeah, I don't think your closer is supposed to have an ERA over 10. He has slow starts a lot, but man this is another level.
DK: Could a demotion from the closer role be on the table?
BW: From the closer role? A demotion to AAA could be on the table. He's got talent but he better pull it together really quickly.
DK: Okay, moving on to the hitters.
BW: Thanks for your time, Dembe, I'll see you later.
DK: Wait, I'm serious, the readers deserve to know what's up with the hitters.
BW: Fine, you want to know what's up with the hitters? They forgot how to hit!
DK: Four of your starting hitters are hitting below .200. You made a trade this offseason to bring in Nelson Ackland, who's hitting .206. What-
BW: I don't know. They forgot how to hit. I don't get it.
DK: Do you trust them to snap out of it?
BW: Sure, whatever. You're supposed to say positive things to encourage the players, right? Uh... yeah they'll snap out of it. Sure.
DK: How encouraging.
BW: Oh, come on, what am I supposed to say? They're all good players, good stats last year, they should be doing better than they are. Maybe they'll get better, I don't know. I sure hope so.
DK: I do need to ask about your new ballpark.
BW: You don't have to...
DK: Fine, I'm going to ask about your new ballpark. This offseason, Meteor Crater underwent some massive renovations, turning it from a fairly balanced stadium into an extreme pitchers' park. Has this backfired?
BW: It's too early to say it has, but the early signs aren't great. I was absolutely expecting the hitters to take a slight step back, but this is way worse than it was supposed to be.
DK: I spoke to a player who says that your constant trades are ruining clubhouse morale. Any truth to that?
BW: Who said that?
DK: Why, are you going to trade him?
BW: I might... really, who said that?
DK: I obviously can't say. But you can't deny that you make way more trades than anyone else. Could that be affecting the team?
BW: I don't even think I've been that bad. Of the 25 players on our major league roster, only two of them weren't here last year.
DK: Okay, but you also traded for a lot of AAA pitchers who could conceivably come up this year. Isn't it possible the players are getting scared of being moved at any point?
BW: Sure, if they're wimps.
DK: ... alright, we'll move on. I just have to ask, when do you hit the panic button?
BW: What do you mean?
DK: Well, the Meteors are 1-11. You think they'll bounce back, and that's fine, but what if they don't? At what point do changes need to be made?
BW: (phone rings) One second, I have to take this. (on the phone) Hello? ... yes, I was interested... Oh, come on, I can't do that... no... yes... I don't have any first this year... no, I don't really need him... okay, how about just a fourth straight-up... okay... alright, think it over, we'll talk later.
DK: Trade negotiations?
BW: Yes. To answer your question, I'm always interested in making changes. This is a fairly minor move, but there could be more to come. If we still suck in a week or two, some guys could be benched, some could be demoted, some could be traded. Who knows?
DK: I gotta ask, who were you on the phone with?
BW: You of all people should understand that I can't reveal that until it's finalized.
DK: Fair enough. Thanks for your time, Bob. And good luck.
BW: Thanks.
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