BUENOS AIRES -- Pandemonium spread throughout Argentina as protesters took to the street following Dolphins owner Jorge Lopez's declaration that Abilio Boye would be suspended for the remainder of the season and traded in the off-season. According to unnamed sources close to the Dolphins front office, the protesters' shock was shared by many of the club's top executives.
"Nobody knew Lopez would say something like that. Nobody can predict what he's going to do. Frankly, we were in a real bind in the front office."
The players, however, seemed less surprised. Several told me that erratic behavior was exactly what they'd come to expect from Lopez, especially when his authority had been challenged. Immediately after the press release was issued, a players only meeting was called. A vote was taken, and by a margin of 25-0, the players decided to inform the front office that they would not play if Boye didn't pitch.
The front office then scrambled to inform Lopez in a way that might lead to a peaceful resolution.
"Jake had to really stroke Lopez's ego," said one senior scouting department official. "He basically presented it to Lopez as a chance to be the hero that preserves baseball amidst a crisis. Lopez went for it. But he told Jake that he needed to issue a statement."
Jake's official statement to the media reads as follows:
"It has been unfortunate to see our team descend into nastiness and unfair attacks on Mr. Lopez. Despite being so mistreated, Mr. Lopez was so benevolent as to agree to the players' unreasonable demand that Boye pitch game 3. Playoff baseball will be played in Buenos Aires, and it is all thanks to our generous owner. However, fans and players must remember that the team is the property of Mr. Lopez, and that he holds the final say on all matters relating to the Buenos Aires Dolphins. And thank God he does!"
-Dan Farnell
Dan Farnell is the beat writer for the Buenos Aires Dolphins. He is in way too deep on this thing now. It has consumed him entirely.
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