STUTTGART, Germany: Andy Stone has signed a contract with the Black Forest Foxes. The events leading up to his signing were quite impressive. Stone had been in Stuttgart for a few days, and had reportedly narrowed his field down to BF and Melbourne. Stone's agent Scott Boras V decided on BF early yesterday morning, and went to sign the contract without Stone's knowledge. Meteors fans had heard about this, and blocked the door to the Foxes GM's house. Members of the Stone Brigade, which at this point were mostly just Foxes fans, jumped out of the bushes and fired at the Meteors with custom BorasDart tranquilizer guns. Boras ran inside and gave Coop the signed contract.
Meteors GM Bob Weinberg held a press conference. He said "Listen, we made an offer, and he didn't take it. Best of luck to Black Forest." He was heard muttering under his breath "I hope that son of a {redacted} breaks his {redacted} arm."